Location: Home > Publications >The leadership Challenge: Women in Management (Hannah Piterman © March 2008)
9. Dynamics
9.1 Understanding the dynamics of hierarchy
Hierarchy is a reality of organisational life. Success is a function of effectively navigating the career ladder. Subtle and unconscious dynamics around the management of hierarchy shape relationships. Mateship is the glue that binds. It has a long history of being embedded in the Australian psyche. It connotes powerful frontier imagery that upholds masculine fantasies of power and sexuality. Historically, mateship was underpinned by a notion of racial homogeneity.The loyalty of mateship extended only to those fitting the standard of Australian manhood. It represented an exclusive and divisive ideology based on racial homogeneity that saw 'real Aussies' as Anglo-Celts. Mateship did not extend to women. It firmly affirmed the dichotomy of the sexes and enshrined traditional sexual stereotypes of man as the warrior and creator and woman as subservient (Hirst, 1999; Lake, 1992).
Men's early socialisation provides them with the capacity to negotiate hierarchy. The experience of safety and camaraderie in the group provides a powerful antidote to the loss of autonomy that hierarchy demands. Mateship and team membership mitigate the tension between competition and subjugation.
Men are comfortable with conceding dominance to another male... It's okay to concede dominance because you can compensate the psychic damage...through other mechanisms and activities and the parallel relationships [in] social realms and all those things. (Male senior manager)
There are two ways to survive.You fight in the playground and knock out more people than knock you out. That is classic male behaviour.The other way is...to join in...all of them require some loss of dignity. (Male senior manager)
The whole hunting and gathering and males hanging out in packs - why? It's a lot safer to hang out in packs when you are chasing the wild buffalo... It's preordained, it's the hunting pack.That is also what I was told at a very young age, blokes stick together. (Male senior manager)
The study finds a 'hunting pack' mentality presents particular challenges to women in working life.They do not have the social reference points to become part of the pack.
Nor do they speak the language of the pack. Another language thing and this is my personal favourite, when people say, 'We don't just eat what we kill here at [organisation], we share it around'.You know,'We have to feed those underlings. Share the kill!' (Female manager)
Sporting language dominates corporate small talk and permeates the professional environment. It is the language of connection and bonding.
I can't tell you how many times I've been in meetings and people use sporting analogies. I started using sporting analogies myself one day in a particular meeting, talking about rhythmic gymnastics and netball, just to make the point and say, 'Here we go, another cricket analogy'. (Female manager)
For the first eight weeks...I just sat back and observed the interactions and started to learn about the business and so forth.Then I felt that if I'm going to be accepted as one of the team maybe I need to change. So I found myself, which I cringe at now, I found myself talking about football and all these blokey things... I felt that I had to change to be accepted. (Female manager)
I don't play golf.That's just one element. I can and do talk about [sport]...You need to find points of interest...a bond, a bridge. It's powerful. (Female senior manager)
Women who do not have a background or interest in sport can experience difficulty participating in key social and networking activities within their organisations.
I'm not in the club and I don't have the appetite or patience to go in the club. I don't play golf. Before dinner they have bonding activity. The do go cart racing, rowing, clay target shooting, paint balling. I don't need to do this. It's a physical expression.They can choose bonding things that are more inclusive. Some guys don't like that either. (Female senior manager)
There are golf days and things. So boys' things and they go and do that.They just get organised and I probably don't get included in that. (Female manager)
A senior female executive points to the staff cricket match we have every year... I say,'That's alright isn't it? It's a family day and women go along to it'. She says, 'Yes, but how often do we take part in the game?... This is for men, not for women'. I must confess I hadn't even thought about that. Multiply it by the beer tasting evenings we have...most women aren't going to find [that] so attractive. (Male senior manager)
Women tend to observe the informal but strategic plays between men from the standpoint of an outsider.
They're not blokey in the traditional sense but they call each other by their nicknames... I just don't feel as connected as I normally would with a group of people. (Female manager)
I couldn't talk the blokey language...There is always a barrier that is going to be there. So [the senior manager] will have his blokey names for his people, the people he takes advice from. For me it's always a bit of a barrier there because I don't fit into that stereotype. (Female senior manager)
Meetings will happen without my knowledge. I'll see all the men walking off to have a meeting. I'll get cc'd on the notes [but] I'm not engaged with stuff. (Female manager)
Women do not easily fit into a culture of mateship. They do not run with 'the pack'. They are often absent from networking opportunities such as drinks at the pub or games of golf. Men can also feel uncomfortable with some of the informal, though expected social networking.
Being able to play golf with the boss on the weekend, being able to go down the pub and have a drink, men are more available for those types of activities... So I guess the boss might feel more comfortable with those types of blokes who will go down and have a drink. Whereas the women...are more likely to go home and look after the kids and make the dinner than the blokes are... Men have and continue to dominate the culture. (Male senior manager)
A senior woman was brought in and she didn't stay to have a beer. She wasn't going to be part of the team.The only way to be successful is to stay out and have a drink. You need to be comfortable in a room with thirty men. (Female senior manager)
I don't do drinks. I don't network. (Female manager)
I can ring a business colleague for lunch. I can go out and have a drink. How does a woman do it? (Male senior manager)
9.1.1 Thriving in a competitive environment
Competition is a reality of organisational life. It underpins most facets of organisational life.
Women's isolation in hierarchical environments reflects an innate difficulty with the competitive dynamic (Reciniello, 1999).Women struggle with the power plays of hierarchy and have difficulty gaining strategic benefit from the competitive process. Men harness the strategic component of competition in their workplace relationships. They are more adept at managing the competitive dynamic.Women find it difficult to display raw ambition in the same way men do, and their behaviour is misinterpreted as less driven.
I have the impression that men do approach the workplace with a little more distance than women do.Women want the personal relationships to be right. Whereas I think with men, it's less of a factor. Men are taught to compete with each other and they expect competition. (Female senior manager)
From a male point of view, my only choice is to work. Therefore I absolutely have to want it or fail. I have to develop a behaviour that in a corporate environment means that my wanting it is very evident. If I'm a woman in the same level, however more talented I may be, I...don't feel the need to display that I want it... I suppose somehow we need to help women in the workplace to understand...that at some point that may become an inhibitor to growth. (Male senior manager)
The study finds women do not feel comfortable with the level of aggression and competition that is intrinsic to organisational life. The need to form strategic alliances rather than genuine friendships can be at odds with their professional values and expectations.Women commonly misinterpret the strategic and aggressive manoeuvrings of colleagues as personal attacks.
One thing that I guess really got to me in the end, that was a contributing factor to leaving, was really the politics... I found that extremely difficult to deal with. I guess my natural reaction is to take it personally. I found it hurtful and difficult and in the end it just really wore me down. (Female senior manager)
I think when you get into more senior roles, the politics comes out more and more.You've got to be comfortable and you've got to be able to deal with that. It puts a lot of people off. It puts a lot of women off too. They see the negative politics and how hard you have to push sometimes to get things through. I think that could make people think this is just not worth it. (Male senior manager)
A number of women expressed their reluctance to enter a game of strategic survival that involves cut throat dynamics. These women choose to leave organisations rather than engage with hostile managers and aggressive office politics.
You were constantly spoken to as an inferior and basically a fool.At the time I didn't have the maturity and I certainly didn't have the confidence to tell people to rack off. I came from a background where seniority was always respected. For me, the whole environment was personally very difficult. Intellectually it was hard work and I thoroughly enjoyed it but I found personally I had to leave. I just felt my intellectual effort wasn't being recognised and there were other things at play that I didn't want to deal in. (Female senior manager)
It was a competitive environment... I think I've had enough of it. I'd like to run my own show. I'll go to a smaller organisation where you are not looking over your shoulder all the time. All large organisations...you get thrown into situations with peers where there is an element of fight for survival. It's OK to a point but it's not why I go to work. (Female manager)
I was actually horrified that someone felt they had to resign to get relief from the situation. I sat in a meeting and it was all men and it was like, 'Oh well, you don't understand and it's the right thing to happen - risk management. She was a risk and we couldn't trust her.' Fundamentally they didn't understand her because they didn't want to understand her or try to understand her. (Female manager)
Difficulty with a competitive dynamic can prove a woman's Achilles heel in terms of career development (Reciniello, 1999). The subtle and unconscious dynamics around the management of hierarchy influences how talent is recognised and rewarded.Women's failure to gain the full strategic benefit from work relationships leads to exclusion not only from 'the pack' or 'the boys' club', but from sharing in the rewards of 'the kill'.
If you've got a band of men who are very chummy, how do you break in? You don't. That's why there are fewer and fewer women in the organisation. (Female manager)
A lot of the women...would say it is about being...male, you've worked in [the industry], you've been around a long time, you know the boys' club well. That's probably how you get to senior roles. (Female manager)
You have to be fairly tough as a female in that environment. A lot of people in senior positions [have] been there for a long time and they'd just kind of get those positions... I guess it's the old boys' club to some degree...they are definitely looking out for each other, that's for sure. (Female senior manager)
There's a lot of politics when you go up to fairly senior roles in management. I'm not sure that a lot of females want to be a part of that to be honest. It's a bit of a boys' club and that's because there aren't a lot of females in there. (Female senior manager)
9.1.2 The shadow side of career progression
The dynamics around the management of hierarchy are unconscious and powerful and thwart interventions designed to support diversity. Research suggests organisations that take elaborate steps to embed values of meritocracy and transparency in their work practices, find their initiatives thwarted by intangible cultural dynamics. Diversity programs have not made tangible inroads into gender balance. An American study of senior appointments in public and private organisations found the 'gender proofing' selection criteria did not result in greater gender balance in senior appointments. Beneath the overt selection process lay a highly subjective, informal understanding of good leadership that favoured familiar, male candidates. Senior appointments were found to be made “not on competencies but other subjective standards...The final decision often rests with one or two senior people and this is where the bias creeps in” (Cranfield, in Griffiths 2005: 21).
I hold two parallel images of the culture of organisations. In a traditional model, as people rise through the ranks, they are recognised for their skills and achievements.They are rewarded through promotion and increased status. However, there is also the shadow side in organisations, where promotion is based on corridor politics and informal communication systems. Somewhere between the two polarities lies the reality for many people. (Eden, 2006: 80)
Golembiewski (1995) refers to a tension between the 'complexity of diversity' and the 'simplicity of homogeneity', a pervasive dynamic played out in organisational life that sees women excluded on the basis of their 'otherness'. Sharing power with women (or others) constitutes a threat to homogeneity. John McFarlane has indicated the tendency for men to recruit 90/10 in favour of men - while women tend to show no gender bias in their recruitment decisions and typically recruit 50/50 (McFarlane, 2004). A number of the study's participants referred to the unconscious male subjectivity or 'likeattracts- like' dynamic, influencing recruitment and promotion decisions in their organisations.
I call it the mini-me syndrome.You look around and your peers look much more like the middle-aged men that are the executives. Then when they see those people they don't think,'I'm going to choose Bob over Jane', they think, 'Bob would be great for this.Why don't I get him to help me out on that because Bob and I are alike' ... I don't think it's deliberate. (Female manager)
When I employ someone, it's got to be someone I trust. That's why I might employ men. Blokes trust blokes. It's a point of reference, we are consciously connected.We've been on the same path, on the same journey.You're like me.You look like me, our values are aligned. It's Darwinian, we move in packs and that's why we survive. (Male senior manager)
Managers and partners will promote people who are like them...it's a hard cycle to break. The people who are in charge and promoting people to go forward are likely to choose people who are like that. (Male senior manager)
We tend to go to the market and buy talent. Men are better at selling themselves. Men also recruit in their image so if you go to the market you get more men. (Male senior manager)
Male and female managers attribute a 'mini-me syndrome' to the poor representation of women in senior positions. Why don't women get promoted? Well, because we don't behave the same ways the guys do and therefore, I think, all of us are inclined to promote in our own likeness or promote the things we like and the way women work is not the way men work. (Female senior manager)
He [senior manager] wasn't saying, 'I don't want you on the management team because you are a woman', but he was saying, 'I don't think your style fits with what I want'. (Male senior manager)
There was a regeneration of the character of the place through generations of staff as they came through. Obviously they were predominantly male, there were hardly any women... People were shoring up their positions consciously and subconsciously...and no-one was going to challenge the norm. So women who have come here have had a bit of a battle. (Female senior manager)
Meritocracy is an idealised notion organisations aspire to but find difficult to operationalise. The study finds a level of scepticism among women regarding the effectiveness of diversity strategies to support them through to leadership positions.This is particularly so in predominantly male, monocultural environments where stereotypical beliefs about leadership incumbency, leadership behaviour, and gender relations imbue the notion of talent and therefore a rational assessment of merit.
It's a club culture, people looking after their mates. It's not nepotism in a formal way.They end up like family.They have special ties with one another. It's about past personal relationships... It's not a structured process. It's not transparent. You tap your mates on the shoulder.People who have patchy delivery records still pop up. (Female senior manager)
There are no formal structures for you to go up. Even though we work on a meritocracy, I've been here for 13 years and I've had many roles, I've never had a formal internal interview. You just get tapped on the shoulder. (Female manager)
You could probably get to, I don't know, middle management, team leader, next level. There are processes. But once you get to the senior 120 grand and above jobs, that's all a bit sleight of hand. (Female manager)
One of our values is meritocracy. I don't believe meritocracy is actually valued here. It's about mateship and who gets jobs. (Female senior manager)
A senior female manager believes women need assistance from outside their organisation to gain visibility among candidates for promotion. Indeed,women need a 'ticket' for membership into the 'boys' club' to access promotional opportunities and reward.
People can recognise in a young man how they were when they were young. They can't recognise that easily in a woman. So a woman needs a ticket of external endorsement. (Female senior manager)
You have to have a boss that is supportive of you. As a woman you need that more than ever, more than a man does. If my boss didn't value what I did and advocate for me every day, I wouldn't be where I am now. (Female senior manager).
9.2 Managing relationships
Managing relationships is intrinsic to managing organisational life. Good relationships are fundamental to career sustainability and advancement. A number of explicit and implicit dynamics drive professional relationships in the workplace. Given it is men, in the main, who hold positions of power,women who wish to succeed must establish good relationships with men.Women must ensure that men are comfortable in their presence. Exhibiting 'precious' or 'sensitive' behaviours can alienate and target a woman as 'politically correct', a 'spoilsport'.
Developing good interpersonal skills is fundamental. Now, that's fundamental for men and women but it really is important for women, that they can get along with people and give as good as they get.Talk with people, joke with people, have fun with people. Don't stand on ceremony and carry a chip on your shoulder because then people will be wary of you...that politically incorrect stuff. (Female senior manager)
I was offended at a joke and called it when it happened at the meeting. After the meeting I was lambasted by the executive [who made the joke] who accused me of attempting to embarrass him in front of others. It was most distressing for me. (Female manager)
While a good sense of humour and a capacity to 'roll with the punches' may be helpful, women must also be conversant with the unspoken rules and codes of behaviour that shape the relationship dynamics across the range of corporate settings.
The study finds that while some women are exceptionally savvy at working relationships, most women do not navigate organisational dynamics as naturally and effectively as men. They struggle to read the political plays of organisational life and to converse with 'hidden' elements of workplace hierarchy. Women's failure to manage the dynamics of hierarchy distances them from strategic networking and relationship building at a time when they need to develop skills in this crucial area.
Women don't always know what to do in order to get some of those top jobs.What are the skills you need, what are the competencies but also what are the networks that you need to have built to actually get some of the opportunities? (Female manager)
Although men have to give off all these signals about being strong and capable and independent, the truth of modern life...is that most of the time you are in a subordinate relationship, everybody is except for a very small number of people... I think sometimes maybe men are better at it than women are and that maybe another reason why they don't do as well...that they're not handling those upward relationships as well. (Male senior manager)
9.2.1 The mentor
Mentoring is widely recognised as essential to career development. Developing strategic relationships with senior figures is paramount for gaining entré into senior and executive environments. It provides opportunities to increase visibility and profile within the organisation. Good mentorship can provide an edge in a competitive work environment (EOWA, 2006b).
Findings by Hewlett & Luce point to 'an urgent need to implement mentoring and networking programs that help women expand and sustain their professional aspirations'. They found companies like American Express, GE, Goldman Sachs, Johnson & Johnson, Lehman Brothers and Time Warner were developing 'old girls networks' that build skills, contacts, and confidence.These organisations 'link women to inside power brokers and to outside business players and effectively inculcate those precious rainmaking skills' (Hewlett & Luce, 2005: 9).
The study finds that women value the opportunity mentoring offers. Successful executive women emphasise the importance of mentoring in opening doors for women.A number take up a variety of mentoring opportunities, participating in organisational and industry-wide mentoring and networking programs and seeking mentors from within and outside their organisations. However, women also believe that they do not have the same access to mentoring as men.
It is very important to cultivate people who can be sponsors, who have the power to give you opportunities. (Female senior manager)
Women do not have access to the same level of sponsorship and mentoring that men have. (Female senior manager)
While women recognise the strategic advantage of significant mentors, the study finds that women at all managerial levels demonstrate some reluctance to actively seek out mentors. Few women pursue mentorship strategically, actively or aggressively.
I don't think I ever cultivated a power base to cultivate myself or consciously look after myself. (Female senior manager)
I've been strategic because others have been sensible enough to tell me to do it. I would never have known to do it on my own. (Female manager)
'Women typically wait until someone else, usually a respected male, confers eligibility for success on them' (Sinclair, 1994: 28).The dynamics of gender relationships has seen acceptance of women contingent on subservience and service. Privilege is the reserve of men. Women who advance themselves are seen as selfish. Women have learnt to hide their needs or find circuitous routes to get needs met. This can be difficult and hence avoided or rationalised to avoid the label of self-interest.
9.2.2 The importance of male patronage
While a number of senior women operate as mentors to their junior colleagues, the overwhelming majority of mentors are men. Given the gender balance of the power elite, a strategic relationship with a key senior male is paramount if an ambitious woman is to realise success. Gaining the support of senior men is viewed as paramount to career development by many women. Indeed career advancement is difficult without the support of senior males. The support of a key male player can make the difference between a women failing or thriving at senior level. Unique opportunities can be gained from male guidance through organisational hierarchy. It provides women with a level of visibility and recognition that they would otherwise struggle to attain.
Unless you've got a champion there who can push you through, it's very much waving your own flag and getting known in a culture that's very much about where you are drinking and who you are socialising with. (Female senior manager)
Without the strong support of my [senior male manager] I would have been just another woman and there have been many before who have been allowed to leave the company. (Female senior manager)
I am heard because I'm a monumental pain in the arse and I have the absolute support of my [senior male manager]. (Female senior manager)
Senior women carry the legacy of gratitude from a post-war female workforce allowed into the male world of work (Reciniello, 1999). Indeed, senior and executive level women speak of the privilege and luck involved in gaining senior level sponsorship.
You get a break. A little bit of luck. Part of it is a little bit serendipitous. (Female senior manager)
Now, to some extent [it] has been luck [that] I've been in great organisations and working with some fantastic leaders... who have given me an opportunity to be the best I can be. (Female senior manager)
Women also speak of reward for hard work, bestowed upon them by a senior man.
I have one [mentor] who selects hard workers and identifies people who are prepared to have a go. (Female manager)
I've actually been very fortunate in that I was selected as the only woman in our division that meets with [the organisational head] for half-an-hour as a regular one-onone. I was astounded. I had no idea that was being proposed. (Female manager)
Women who are strategic use relationships, generally with direct managers, to gain access into support networks and extend opportunities for male patronage.
I will often have conversations with [my direct manager's] peers, one of whom I asked to be my mentor when I started. I could see he was valued for his people skills and his commercial skills. I went to him and said, 'I've probably got the people skills but I know nothing about the business'. [My direct manager] knows I have that relationship with one of his people and he supports that. (Female manager)
In a corporate environment I still think I'm maybe better off getting advice from a man than a woman. They see things differently sometimes... If it comes from a man, not that it's any more credible, but it's almost like, sometimes in organisations you are trying to pitch yourself at how men perceive me so it's better having a man's view.That's more about being pragmatic than anything else. (Female senior manager)
Male patronage can also provide women the space to exploit their 'otherness' and gain some authenticity. Women who are placed on the perimeter of leadership circles can become invaluable agents of 'truth' or change for managers seeking to break from 'the pack' dynamic.
[The senior manager] realises the top executives are not capable of telling him what he needs to hear on his honest days. So he almost needs to create a secondary pool of people who will tell him like it is... There are a bunch of women who I think he does trust and would look to rely on for the truth. (Female senior manager)
9.2.3 The boss
The relationship a woman develops with her immediate supervisor can have enormous influence on her career advancement. A good relationship can provide an invaluable opportunity for mentoring and promotion. A negative relationship can interfere with a woman's daily working life and long-term career prospects.
The study finds women in management are often reluctant to take the lead in personal interactions with senior men. A lack of confidence and the skill to engage in the playing field inhibits strategic career planning. Male patronage is seen as essential to career progression. A number of women report that their relationship with their boss influences their career planning.
In the corporate world, you are not going to progress unless you have a boss who is going to help you. (Female senior manager)
I think I've been fortunate that I've had very good bosses that have given me opportunities.That is a career tactic in a sense... I need to be comfortable in my work environment with the people I work with. I would personally suffer if I didn't work with the right people. (Female senior manager)
I've been fortunate that I've had a couple of people that I've supported [who] have been my champions and promoted me throughout the organisation, and enabled me to get the role I've currently got. Having people that support you and appreciate what you deliver, you don't have to wave the flag. (Female senior manager)
9.2.4 The boss as champion
The role of champion is usually taken by men.They introduce women to senior management environments and advocate for them at executive level. The role of champion is perceived as high risk by men and women alike. Women are still considered unknown quantities in leadership roles. Advocacy on behalf of a potential female leader is a gamble.
What [the senior manager] does particularly well is actually talk people up to the right people and give people opportunities. I think what's kept him going...is the fact that we've actually not disappointed him. If you are the [head] of an organisation and you take bold moves when you know you are gambling a little bit with outcome, and you are not disappointed, it encourages you to do more and more. (Female senior manager)
In these relationships, it is incumbent on women to demonstrate their worth. They must ensure their manager's reputation for good judgment is not damaged which, at times, requires feats that may not be expected of men.
If you look at the really influential women in Australia...they have achieved the respect of the men...because they were excellent in what they do.They have had to be better than the guys. I keep on seeing it...my young ladies that I work with, they need to be that bit better. (Female senior manager)
I worked with eight men and most of them were 25 years plus in the organisation. Most of them were European and I am as well. I remember being introduced to them and two of them wouldn't even get up to shake my hand. Everyone else did.Then one of them said, 'What's a good little [European] girl like you doing here?' I didn't answer that.Then 12 months down the track they were all coming to me for advice. It was just needing to show them I knew what I was doing. (Female manager)
While championing can provide women opportunity for career advancement, it also carries a burden.Women are placed under a level of scrutiny that is relentless and can lead to burn out.
I've seen women pushed into roles too quickly. So they are thrown in the deep end, get no more support than anyone else in terms of coaching and hand holding. They go on lots of training courses and things like that but it's not the same as coaching and mentoring someone through it. I see so many of those women crash because it is too hard. (Male senior manager)
I do think companies play on that a little bit, as a trophy, 'Here's our woman. Isn't it wonderful? Let's wheel her around and show everyone. Let's get her up to talk to groups continuously'.That puts more pressure on in terms of more visibility and we take them out of their day-to-day job more to do these extra curricula activities. But that means they're probably spending less time on the business than the average man. (Male senior manager)
Effective patronage of female talent is a complex dynamic with a number of dimensions. Successful championing requires an understanding of the interplay between the cultural setting and the individual.
You've got to protect them and I run defence for them so they can continue to flourish... So we have a process here about...who gets the next jobs and I'm marking them up. The HR people are saying,'No I don't think they're ready.' I'm going,'They are. Get them up there and they'll be fine'. (Male senior manager)
[My manager] could see and relate to some of the early fears that I was having and that made it so much easier. If I had had a manager who didn't have that side, I would have struggled and I would have felt that I had to go to a grand final! I actually don't think I would have survived because it's not who I am. (Female manager)
9.2.5 The boss as competitor
Women's dependence on male advocacy renders them vulnerable. In order to retain the favour of advocacy, they tread a fine line to ensure they are not perceived as a threat to the power of a senior male (Sinclair, 1994; Reciniello, 1999). A woman who oversteps the mark does so at her own peril.
My latter career has been dominated by average bosses who are incredibly insecure about my abilities. (Female senior manager)
The origin of competition is threat. So I'm comfortable in my environment, I understand the rules of engagement. But something new arrives which is thought, gender, whatever, and my first reaction, depending on my level of self-confidence, is one of threat. This individual, this thought, this opposition, this challenge is somehow threatening my status quo.Therefore my reaction to that is initially to reject it.Then if it persists to somehow compete with it, and then if it still persists, to undermine it. (Male senior manager)
The study finds a number of women experience relationships with direct male managers that are deeply controlling and patronising. They are not exposed to promotional opportunities, treated as incompetent and childlike when in the presence of executives, and constantly bullied.
The hierarchical style of leadership wouldn't allow me to meet other managers without my group manager being with me... I was not able to get around the business and reach the key leaders and stakeholders.They kept diverting me off in other directions. (Female senior manager)
I found I had a business that probably had many millions of dollars that was in danger and [I] said 'Look it's time to make decisions. I want your support to do it', and [he] said, 'No young lady, I take care of all of that.You put your head down and your bum up and chip away and do as you're told for the next two years'. (Female senior manager)
I've been working with my new boss now for four or five years. I had to demand to have one-to-ones with him. I said,'It's really important so I know where I stand and how I'm doing and you can give me feedback. It's really important for me to drive my career'. He goes, 'What is it with you and your career?'... I just thought, hang on a minute, everything I've done in my career is about betterment and trying to move forward. I need an inspirational leader to help me do that. That comment just completely killed it dead for me. (Female manager)
Women's confidence and ambition can also be undermined in more subtle ways, through duplicitous politicking.
I had been extremely supportive of my new boss...and in turn he had been supportive of me. But towards the end his 100 percent focus was his own ambition and himself and he liked having me supporting him... I realised [he] was playing me off against other staff. So there was some dishonest communication. In the end I felt he shafted me. (Female senior manager)
I actually had been approached internally for another role... I wasn't successful because my manager was so unsupportive and discouraged me. In fact, he almost put a level of doubt in my mind that I wasn't capable to do it. (Female senior manager) I think that I threatened this man...it did eventually become clear to me that he'd been very negative and damaging. I felt terribly betrayed because I thought we had got on very well.That level of duplicity, people will meet it in the workplace. (Female senior manager)
“[The boss] touched me in a meeting on the hand and on the knee and I know he had no interest in me and I had no interest in him, that's for sure. But it was intended to be unsettling and a put down more than anything... Things like blowing kisses in the car park in front of other people was an intentional put down.'You are the little woman and I am the man, therefore you should be disregarded, everyone should disregard you in the same way that I am.' He was like a child. Do you give him the attention he is trying to seek or do you just wash it off and say, 'You've got a problem'. (Female senior manager)
A woman's relationship with her direct manager can have significant implications for her career. The ability to manage a range of relationship dynamics with men is paramount for women seeking to advance their careers.
9.3 Dynamics between the sexes
The study finds a primitive dynamic drives relationships between the sexes. Survival in the workplace sees both women and men play archetypal roles. The 'father/child' and 'husband/wife' are prevalent interplays. While the more sinister elements of a 'good girl/bad boy' dynamic have been legislated out of the workplace, its legacy remains subtle and covert, and a powerful driver in workplace relations.These dynamics render women vulnerable in their relationships with men.Without effective understanding and management of these primitive interplays women can find themselves targets of male aggression or male idealisation. The study finds that women's survival strategy has been to accept and collude with these dynamics, albeit unconsciously, particularly in organisational settings which are highly competitive and hostile to the female presence.
Ambitious women have been advised to learn to combine the traits of a 'good girl and a fighter' if they want to advance their careers. (Interview with Maxine McKew, Weekend Australian Magazine, March 31- April 1, 2007). A display of too much spark, however, can be read as threatening. Indeed, a woman's failure to understand subtle boundaries around her interactions with a senior man can jeopardise the relationship.
I think there are a lot of men in senior positions who genuinely want to give opportunities to women but I also think they are more comfortable with some sorts of women than others. If they feel seriously challenged by a woman, in terms of demeanour or whatever, they are much less likely to take that woman on. (Female senior manager)
There's a realm of sexualised behaviour which is permissible for men to be engaged in, in the workplace...a sexualised display where to be charming and slightly roguish is acceptable. Whereas, I can see clearly that for a woman to engage in equivalent behaviour would be seen as improper and inappropriate. A woman of great courage and wit could get away with it but it would be high risk behaviour, especially in a less enlightened environment. (Male senior manager)
Several senior female managers believed older men responded well to a certain playfulness and feisty demeanour in the women that they mentored and supported.
I think [he] just appreciates a bit of banter and sometimes even being put back in his box...rather than someone just cringing and taking...it. (Female senior manager)
I'm open and warm but not a pushover... Older men respond to that. It's not done with disrespect and they kind of respond to that as being masculine but not so masculine from a female. (Female senior manager)
There's not an aggressiveness to these women who get promoted, but there's a feistiness, there's a 'speak-yourmindness' that they have and that gets valued. (Female manager)
Indeed some men encourage risk, viewing playfulness in women as a survival strategy.
We'll be in the company of men and I can see their discomfort. I say [to a woman], 'For God's sake, tell a dirty joke'. She tells it and they all relax. The men don't know where the boundary is. She has the power to set the boundary. So senior women who survive set the boundary or allow the boundary to be further than ordinarily it might be. It's a huge risk. (Female manager)
Managing perceptions of sexually threatening behaviour may also require women to navigate delicate interactions with a male colleague's wife.
I've had a few instances where you can see the wife being incredibly suspicious...The way I've always handled that is when I've had the opportunity to meet guys' wives, I always made the point of going up and talking to them. If they don't introduce [themselves to] me, I'll go and introduce myself and I will spend the time to chat to them, to talk to them and make sure they feel comfortable with me and try and subtly give the message that,'No, I couldn't possibly be sleeping with your husband'. (Female senior manager)
You have a younger female travelling with an older male. It's one-on-one.That's an issue and quite a few wives didn't like it when I travelled with their husbands. I've become good friends with them to get them to understand that I am not a threat. (Senior female manager)
9.3.1 Sexual awkwardness
Research has found that many senior men experience difficulty mentoring younger women because of a sexual awkwardness underlying the relationship. Described as 'sexual static...like snow on the television set or noise on the radio' (Rosener, 1995: 67), sexual tension can interfere in the interactions between older men and younger women, causing distraction and discomfort.
The study finds the professional, platonic relationship is not seen as a natural dynamic for women and men to enter into.
It's probably not the most natural relationship I suppose. Men gravitate towards men on a mateship basis. (Male senior manager)
He was my manager [for] about ten years and when I was leaving I realised in all the time I was reporting to him we never had coffee. At [the organisation] everyone sits and has coffee... So I invited him down and I actually had a five dollar bet as to whether he would turn up or not...he turned up...but he was uncomfortable. (Female manager)
I would more likely do [coffee] with a woman than a man. That was probably more about the culture in the organisation. A woman asking a man for coffee just wasn't done. It would be like, 'Oh, what's the agenda here?' (Female manager)
Mentoring relationships between older men and younger women are widely perceived to have sexual undertones.
I think early on there was a cynical view that,'Well she's an attractive young thing, of course the [senior manager] wants to see her up in his office every week'. (Female senior manager)
Without doubt, there is a difficulty in women cultivating those sorts of friendships because of the way it can be perceived, the difficulties of men and women being friendly and people feeling that if they're too friendly there's something sinister or sexual about that friendship. (Female senior manager)
9.3.2 Paternalism
The mentoring dynamic can take the shape of the father/daughter relationship.
In working for [Company A manager], he took a very paternal view of me and that's been replicated at [Company B].As I've become noticed and been promoted [Company B manager] has also taken quite a paternalistic interest in me... It's almost like the men of that generation have treated the women of my generation as their default daughters and taken a paternalistic or protective role in their succession. (Female senior manager)
She [referring to a peer senior manager] has a lot of uncle type figures in the business...they like that...they see her vulnerability...it's a more natural thing. (Male senior manager)
While women can undoubtedly gain opportunities from this dynamic, they may not be enduring. Indeed, reliance on 'father/daughter' relationships can carry risks for women.
Young women have a tendency to be too trusting. [If they] have grown up with a father that has been relatively protective they can actually expect men to behave in a certain way. [But] they are not your father, your protector. They are in fact another snout at the trough. (Female senior manager)
A significant percentage of the women who are promoted, leave.The benign explanation is [the organisation] gave them the opportunity and the advancement to showcase their talents to an outside world who could pay more. A less benign explanation is many feel they got ahead on patronage and the price was too high. (Female senior manager)
9.4 Dynamics between women
9.4.1 Women as mentors
Relationships between women play an important part in female career development. Senior women are often perceived as more obvious role models and mentors for ambitious women. Their experiences in navigating through hostile and challenging environments can be of enormous value to younger women.
The [senior female manager] is such a fantastic role model... She has been able to be extremely successful but also have very strong values that probably women hold in higher priority than men.And she actually talks about her family and so forth and we don't see much of that. (Female manager)
I've had other women that have really helped me in my career... For some of those women in their 50s, they've had to struggle so hard to get there. (Female manager)
A paucity of senior female role models has resulted in a low pool of potential female mentors.
For young women to aspire, they have to see people above them and that's not happening. If you're someone who is middle management...you look up in the organisation [and] there's a sea of men. (Female manager)
Our only role models are men and...most women's mothers didn't work. Maybe we think the only way to do it is men's way, but that doesn't quite fit.The women we do see tend to be more like men. (Female manager)
The perception of women's experiences at the top is one of hard work with little reward.
Women in senior positions work very hard and they tend to be used to [doing] very hard things.After they have done it they are not rewarded... Women are sacrificed more easily and that's not a good model for success. If young women look around and see senior women being marginalised or dispensed with after doing the hard stuff, they will not put their foot forward. (Female senior manager)
Some successful women are not considered realistic models for the majority.
She's an example of an absolutely outstanding [senior manager] but she's at one end of the spectrum. She's a remarkably driven, hard working person and she's got a family too, she's got four or five kids. She's an absolutely extraordinary person. But she's seen as someone that you couldn't emulate or wouldn't want to emulate. (Male senior manager)
Not all women are natural mentors. In the same way that not all men expect to act as mentors, not all senior women see themselves as champions for upcoming female talent.The study finds a number of senior women feel undue expectations are placed upon them to act in mentor roles.
[A women's network] wasn't used by me to get myself to the top, but having got myself to the top then there is a fair expectation that I'll put in a bit of time to them. (Female senior manager)
Women who have attainted a certain position can often be outright told, 'You are expected to promote women now'. I was very angry being told on more than one occasion,' You should have appointed a woman because you are a woman'. (Female senior manager)
Women are nurturers when it comes to children. But they are not nurturers when it comes to supporting other women. (Female senior manager)
The study finds that women go to great lengths to ensure that their career achievements are recognised as merit-based and distance themselves from activities that may threaten this perception.This concern can dissuade women from participating in formal female only networking programs. Indeed, attending female only events can brand someone a feminist, a label that women are particularly keen to avoid.
I'm not a 'burn your bra' type by any means and I worry about the perception. People go, 'Oh, she's gone to burn her bra for a week and she'll get it out of her system and it will be fine'. (Female manager)
The relevance of the skills and what they talk about is essential for most women [but] I don't like the thought that it is exceptional and exclusive. Don't make it a female thing! That just doesn't sit easily with me at all. (Female manager)
A lot of what they do is around networking activities, so bringing people together, generally just women, which creates angst on the other side... I'm not someone who relies on those sorts of forums... I'd like to believe that if I choose to go after something then it's assessed on my merits. (Female manager)
Don't take me as the token female. Don't think I'm here just to show we're diverse. (Female manager)
9.4.2 Women as competitors
While women have difficulty managing the competitive dynamic to their advantage, the drive to compete is not exclusive to men. Among women, subtle and undermining as well as upfront competition does occur.Women compete on a number of explicit and implicit levels as part of the 'cut and thrust' of executive life.
I think there are many women, if not most women in business, who feel that the sisterhood can be seductive at first. But you very quickly start to think most people see it here as a zero sum game.They get ahead or I get ahead.There is a sense that few women get ahead, so I've got to look after myself and bad luck if the others don't make it. (Female senior manager)
A recent commentary on professional women's networks lamented the politically correct stance taken in regard to competition among women. Acknowledging the existence of a competitive dynamic does not sit comfortably with a sisterhood view of relationships between women.
The trouble is that the merest mention of women's networks seems to turn intelligent women into politically correct, acquiescent fools... Successful professional women want to compete with other successful women. There is nothing wrong with that. There is something wrong with pretending they don't. (Kellaway, 2007: 8)
The study finds that while men can experience competition as energising and natural, women have difficulty acknowledging and managing competitive dynamics in the workplace. Competition among women goes against an idealised view of how women should behave and is seen to be 'unhealthy' and depleting.
Within the female ranks and I'm talking the executive now, I would say there is no loyalty. Everyone is out for themselves. I think there is a lot of competition. I think it is unhealthy competition. (Female senior manager)
When I joined the team I'm in now, it [was] predominantly blokes but [there were] two women at the time. I had this vision that they would actually help me out or there'd be some camaraderie... But they actually gave me the hardest time on the team. (Female manager)
I've seen it happen where there are women that do progress very well and they then become very hard for other women to do business with. It's almost the traditional,' I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and you can do it too'. (Female senior manager)
Some women feel that deeper dynamics are at play in the way competition expresses itself among women at all levels of the organisation. The use of intimidatory dynamics to exclude other women has been referred to as the 'Queen Bee' syndrome (Davidson & Cooper, 1992). Mooney (2005) suggests that while women increasingly embrace ambition, competition and success as part of the competitive world of office politics, many have difficulty reconciling the need to be liked with overt competitive behaviour and resort to subversive tactics to achieve goals.
Women do not support other women.We can be our own worst enemies. Women have a tall poppy syndrome... I've seen women in more junior positions put senior woman in a negative light. It's a competitive tension or jealousy. Women by nature are more underhanded. (Female senior manager)
I actually think the women prevent the women going any further in this company. If there was one reason why I would leave this company it would be because of the women in this organisation... The men want to promote the women but the women don't want the other women promoted. (Female senior manager)
There is one other [senior] woman who works in the company and she is a bigger bully than the men. She is horrendous when it's woman to senior woman. She bullied me. She wanted to be the top dog. She wanted the limelight. (Female senior manager)
The study finds women are often more comfortable cementing strategic and personal relationships in the safety of informal networks, supporting each other outside the work place.
I wouldn't see her as someone who would be an advocate for me.We support each other informally. (Female senior manager)
We go walking together outside work or we may go shopping occasionally. Do I do that with the men? No I don't... [I always] seek out and maintain friendships with people who do similar work to me and do work for me. (Female senior manager)
Everybody has bonded.We're in this together and we're sharing stories and it just feels great. People do have lunch, just on that one-on-one basis. It breaks down some of those subtle barriers. (Female manager)
I think I should have a coffee club account because I think I do a fair bit of that. It works well informally. (Female senior manager)
9.5 Conclusion
Managing relationships is an essential component of working life. For women, the skill to negotiate a range of challenging dynamics and interactions with both men and women is vital to career advancement. While women at all levels of management appreciate the professional benefits of mentorship and networking, they fail to gain maximum benefit from these initiatives.Women's minority status sets into motion a number of dynamics that undermine their status as authority figures and diminish their capacity to form strategic relationships. Organisational awareness of minority/majority dynamics can improve interventions to support women's career development. Mentoring and strategic networking is critical for women's advancement. It enhances confidence and skill, and most significantly provides women entry into the 'corridors of power'. Indeed, leaders are increasingly viewing mentoring and networking to be the top developmental tools for implementing diversity.